Erasing the Fears
by oXXb00kw0rmXXo
Summary: We watched as the stars each flickered out, one by one, just like my fears. I shivered, wondering idly how my life would be in a few weeks, a few years, a few decades, perhaps even a few centuries...


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This was written for Child-of-God13's July challenge. It was to write a fic that references July 11th. The reference must be underlined. Well, I have three, and I'll point them out later, at the bottomw, but keep in mind that the first two are bold, because they are already underlined (being books and all). I hope you enjoy! I decided to post it unbetaed, cuz I'm just not patient enough.

**This is dedicated to Amber-is-a-Jasper's-Girl, cuz she's been begging for a Jasper/Amber fic (I sort of gave her her way, even though all the couples are canon. Ha, I hope you like it!)**

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

* * *

I curled up on the humungous bed in Edward's room, tuning out Alice's words. I discretely tried to open one of the two books laying in front of me – **A Tale of Two Cities** and **To Kill a Mockingbird**. Alice, being a vampire, came forward and snatched them both away before my hand could get a centimeter further.

"Bella, _please_ try and listen to me! The Volturi are coming today, can't you pay more attention?" she begged, her gold eyes boring into me. After a moment of trying to win a pointless glaring contest, I sighed and straightened my legs.

"Finally! Thank you! Now, just wait here while I get your clothes, They're in my room, you'll love them!" She dashed out of the room like a bullet and I groaned. It was nearly time for Bella Barbie. Alice was like my sister, but as all sisters do, she got on my nerve sometimes! All I wanted to do was be with Edward!

The wedding was in just weeks and the Volturi were coming to visit, to check up on us. I was as nervous as could be. The Cullens had been briefing me on gaps in their pasts, little bits of vampircy that I had missed, and such for the past few weeks. It was interesting, to say the least. I subconsciously fingered my neck, feeling my pulse and the blood running through my veins. How long would it be until I heard and felt _others_ blood, but not mine? I knew the answer, of course. August 14th, the day after our wedding. It was technically August 17th, when I completed the change, but that didn't sound quite as ominous.

The door made a quiet slam and the click of a lock was loud and clear, even to my ears. I looked up from my thoughts to see Jasper and Emmett, blocking the door with all their might.

"He's going to _kill_ us when he finds out!" Emmett whispered. Jasper was frantic, searching for a place to hide.

"_She's_ going to kill us!" he said as his eyes landed on me. I smiled shrewdly, waving at the two boys.

"What are you doing in here alone?" Emmett asked, perplexed.

"Waiting for Alice to come back with the torture devices." Jasper nodded understandingly. He was married to her, he ought to know!

"You're thinking about the wedding, right?" he questioned, looking away from me on purpose. My blood was pumping hard enough for me to feel, let alone him!

"No, not exactly. More like… after the wedding," I supplied. Emmett grinned and plopped himself at my feet.

"Bella, listen, it's nothing to be worried about. You see, when a girl really, really likes a boy and a boy really, really likes a girl, they – " he began, but I cut him off before my face could get much redder.

"No! No, not _that_, Emmett!" I groaned and he rolled his eyes.

"I know. I wanted to see you blush," he admitted and I tried to glare. I ended up laughing instead. How couldn't I? He was Emmett, my big bear of a brother! Jasper carefully picked his way over and sat on the edge, as far away as possible.

"What are you nervous about?" the empath questioned, as if daring me to lie. I couldn't – he would know.

"The change," I sighed. "What if I just can't take it? What if I die? I don't want Edward to follow, I don't want him to be in pain!"

Jasper's eyes turned stony as he stared at me. Suddenly, his head whipped around to stare at the calendar hanging on the wall, marking the days until the wedding. A large red "x", newly drawn, was slashed across July 11.

"Did you know that we tried to invade Washington, D.C, one hundred forty two years ago? The Confederate forces, I mean. I was part of it," He launched into his story, his voice quiet and captivating. I listened closely, trying to catch every word. "It was my first big job. I was so proud… I remember tucking the letter from Amber, my fiancé, into my pocket right as we loaded the horses. She was seventeen… she wanted to know when I'd be home. She wanted us to marry quickly, because she was afraid that if I was away so long, our love would fade." My brother snorted, brought back from the past. "As if that would happen in a lifetime."

"So you loved her? More than Alice?" His eyes grew wide as he shook his head back and forth rapidly.

"Not at all! You see, I loved Amber so much that I wanted to spend my life with her. I love Alice more – I couldn't stand for a lifetime, I want eternity. There's a difference."

"I see." I really did. It was all clear to me now. Jacob would be good enough for a life span. But Edward – he made me want forever. "Go on."

"That was it," Emmett told me and my mouth dropped.

"What? That didn't answer my questions!"

"It wasn't supposed to," Jasper grinned evilly, a smile that can only be learned from Alice. "It was so that we could do this."

I was suddenly pinned onto the bed. I expected to be struggling under Emmett's iron grasp, or possibly even Jasper, but not once did I expect Rosalie's long blonde hair to be falling in my face.

"Arg!" I screamed and kicked relentlessly. She was unfazed, possibly even bored, as she pulled out a cell phone from her pocket. I hadn't even noticed it ringing. She answered, while managing to keep me held down with the other hand. I sagged against the pillows, giving up the impossible fight.

"Do you have him?" she spoke softly. "Good. I don't know why I'm even bothering with this, but it's fun so far. No, not just because Bella's pinned to a bed! Fine, it helps… one second. Emmett, Jasper, go switch with Alice!" She shut the phone with a snap and Emmett and Jasper filed out. Less than a moment later, Alice danced in, exuberant. She locked the door and I was finally allowed to sit up. I kneeled on my knees now – criss-cross apple sauce was too vulnerable.

"Now, Bella." Alice walked in slowly, holding something behind her back. "We need you to stay calm and collected, okay? We're just going to put this brush through your hair. Aro will be here soon, we want to put on a good impression."

I eyed her uncertainly. A good impression for Aro? Hadn't we already made a _bad_ one?

"She's going to struggle. Rosalie, hold her down, will you?" The girl grinned, flashing her teeth, as she grabbed my wrists, holding me effectively in place. Alice ran the brush through my hair, with long, gentle strokes. Rosalie deemed me incapable of moving, so she grabbed a makeup box from who knows where! She powdered my face and swept eye shadow over my lids. When Alice was done, she threw me a deep blue piece of cloth.

It was a dress, with short, but flowing sleeves. After I pulled it over my head, it swished around my calves. The neckline was deep, but not _too_ deep. Alice inspected me with her critical eyes. With a snap of inspiration, she reached ran into the bathroom, where plastic decorative flowers sat on top of the counter top. She snipped one off its stem and stuck it my hair. Rosalie smiled, a reminder that though she regretted my decisions, she didn't _hate_ me. Alice reached into her huge bag (which is where, I realized later, the makeup and clothes had come from) and began to pull out some shoes for me.

"Wait, Alice, no, she'll probably hurt herself!" Rosalie insisted as she saw the heel peek out. Alice rolled her eyes but looked into the future. With an exasperated sigh, she threw them back into the bag.

"If she wears them, the mall will go out of business, we'll lose our stock in Band-Aides –Heaven knows we need them! – and the worst thing will happen! She'll need to wear a cast on the wedding!" I sighed in relief, but Alice cut it off with a glare. "You're wearing heels for the wedding."

"But-"

"No buts!"

"Alice, I-"

"Don't say it!"

"Come on, I'll-"

"Don't argue with me!" I shrugged my shoulders and let her argue with Rosalie about the shoes. The blonde was holding a pair of very safe looking flats. They were the same blue, with little pearls on the tips. They matched my ring. Eventually, the two girls stopped arguing and I was able to slip my feet into them. They were soft and warm on the inside.

Alice and Rosalie smiled, satisfied. I noticed that Alice and Rosalie were just wearing jeans and shirts. There was nothing fancy about _their_ attire.

"Why aren't you dressed up?" I questioned. They ignored me. I moved on to something else that had been prodding my mind. "Where are Carlisle and Esme?"

"Cleaning up downstairs." The doorbell rang out of nowhere and my heart rate sped up. To be honest, I hadn't thought much about their visit, other than how annoying it would be. Now, I was nervous as hell.

"Time to go down?" I croaked. They nodded grimly.

"Time to go."

* * *

I walked down the steps cautiously, quietly as I could. They could probably smell me from miles away, but I wasn't taking chances. What if I was changed _tonight?_ What if they forced it? I wasn't ready for tonight! In August, yes, after my goodbyes. But now? These thoughts only made my nerves increase.

When I climbed off the last step, I gasped. No vampires were standing in the room before me. Okay, that's a lie, there were. There was Carlisle and Esme and Emmett and Jasper and Rosalie and Alice (the last four looked extremely pleased) and an extremely disgruntled Edward. So, yeah, there were vampires, But not the vampires I expected. Not the ones that wanted me dead.

Edward was dressed in clean, ironed trousers and a wrinkled blue shirt. Esme was unsuccessfully trying to hide an iron behind her back. Edward was giving her a look of loathing at the moment, yet it was filled with forgiveness and love at the same time.

I finally realized what they were doing when I spotted the two candles sitting on a lone table. One plate was full, the other empty. Emmett tried to sneak a bottle of wine onto the table, but Edward slapped it out of his hand.

"_No_. You got us this far, you are _not_ getting her drunk." My brother gave a huff, but gave the bottle without a fight.

There was no Volturi coming, at least not yet. There was no impression we had to make. It was a date. They set us up! Sure, we were engaged, but I was positive that Edward had no idea either.

As we inched toward each other, the family one by one disappeared out the door. Alice grabbed my cell phone, Edward's cell phone, our keys, and she was also holding a wire that looked suspiciously like the cord for the entire phone system. The lock _clicked_ and we were alone.

"So," I blew out my cheeks. "What do you say we ditch this place?" Edward shook his head.

"We're stuck. Rosalie disabled my engine. Yours, too." He sighed. "I can't believe she took the engine out of the Guardian! What if it can't be fixed right?"

"It's okay, Edward, I can do without an expensive car." I took the final step towards him and buried my head in his chest. His long, elegant fingers brushed my hair out of my face, and he held my chin gently, staring into my eyes with such intensity that I nearly crumbled. He was suddenly beside the table, pulling out a chair for me.

"Wait a second," I mused as I slid into my seat. "You have vampire speed. Why can't we just run?" Edward grinned crookedly and urged me to eat.

"Grand theft auto is more fun."

* * *

"Who are we stealing from?" I had changed out of my dress and into some dark clothing, which had been conveniently left on the bed. Alice had obviously seen something and had come back to leave me clothes.

"Ourselves." I stopped point blank.

"_Ourselves?_ Edward, that makes no sense! Why would we steal from ourselves? Is that even stealing?" He laughed and grabbed my hand, pulling me forward.

"Well, not ourselves as in you and I. More like ourselves, as in the family." Edward pulled the garage door open and suddenly some tools were in his hand. In front of him sat the Mercedes, the Jeep, the BMW, the Vanquish, and the Volvo. Of course, the engines of the Volvo and the Vanquish were sitting on a shelf, high above us.

"How did Alice convince them to take _her_ car?"

"She begged them. They went hunting, so they're not in the area. She wanted a chance to drive it. Carlisle gave in. Which car do you want to take?" I shrugged, letting him make the choice. He sighed and turned me around to face him. "Bella, if you won't make a decision about a car, then how do you make decisions about being immortal? You drive me insane!"

"You heard voices in your head before you met me."

"True, very true." We stood in silence for a while, the cool summer air of Forks swirling by. "Let's take Jasper's bike. I know you like that thing, however dangerous it is."

I grinned – I had forgotten that we had given Jasper the motorcycle! Edward lugged it out of the back of the garage, uncovering all the gear as well. Grumbling, I shoved the helmet on my head as he hotwired it and mounted the bike. Edward sat behind me, his arms enclosed around me, as if he were a steel cage keeping me safe.

We shot forward, going so fast that I could barely see around us. I pressed against his cold body, my eyes shut tight against the wind and rain. We skidded to a stop in front of a huge tree. Edward leapt up onto the lowest branches – then held out his arms for _me_.

"No way! I can't climb, I'll kill myself!" He rolled his eyes and leaned down to grab my hand. He guided me up slowly and eventually, we reached the top. I snuggled into his arm as we balanced carefully on the branch. Stars were peeking out through the endless clouds, glittering with little intensity compared to Edward in daylight.

"Now," Edward breathed minutes later. "You were worried about something. Are you regretting changing? Or the wedding? Or anything?" His eyes were pleading with worry for the worries he didn't even know. How was I to tell him? He would never forgive himself, whether it be his fault or not. Which it's _not_.

"It's just… I'm just a little nervous, that's all. It'll be fine! I'm fine, really!" I lied.

"You are a terrible liar. Just how you managed to keep our secret for this long astounds me. Not that I'm not glad about it… it's just amazing to see. Now… you are scared, correct?" I nodded, not trusting myself enough to speak. "You will miss your family and friends? You are afraid it will hurt? You are nervous you won't make it through?" I nodded to each as he said it and I cringed as hurt and doubt filled his eyes.

"It's stupid, I know I'll be fine, really."

"Would you rather Carlisle changed you? It would be safer."

"No, Edward, not at all. I trust you."

"It will hurt. I won't deny that, you know it will hurt, it will burn. It will be difficult about your family and friends… we will have to fake your death, I think. But I promise you, that I will not let you die. And if you, by some chance, do, I will be sure to follow as soon as I can. You won't be alone for long, I swear."

"I have one more question…" He shifted his body to face me as dawn began to break.

"Yes?"

"How exactly did Jasper and Emmett keep the secret from you? And how did they get you into those clothes and downstairs?" He grinned crookedly and my heart melted.

"They were thinking about my sisters. I tend to tune them out when they do that. I do not need crude images in my head." I giggled.

"And the clothes and all?"

"They threatened the most important thing in my life." I waited for him to continue, as he left his sentence ringing in the air. "My Volvo." I slapped him playfully, causing my fingers to sting. He chuckled and pulled me closer yet.

"The Volvo is the most important thing in my life. You, my dear, are the most important thing in eternity."

And so, we watched as the stars each flickered out, one by one, just like my fears. The sun was rising and the pearl on my finger glittered along with Edward. The day was beginning. My life would soon be ending. Butterflies erupted again and I shuddered, wondering idly what my life would be like in just a few months, a few year, a few decades, perhaps even a few centuries…

Then I looked over at Edward and knew my answer. My life would be perfect.

* * *

My references:

1859 - _A Tale of Two Cities_ by Charles Dickens is published.

1864 - Confederate forces attempt an invasion of Washington, D.C.

1960 - _To Kill a Mockingbird_ by Harper Lee is first published.

Well, that was from Wikipedia, my info, I hope it's right! Ah well, I hope you all enjoyed it (especially you, Amber, you lucky duck! Fiance with Jasper!! Too bad he was changed and loves Alice more... but hey, he wants to be with you for a lifetime! Is that good enough?). I would love feedback, but I'm not going to beg for reviews. So... that's that!


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